Hodges' Home

On a new quest...

2010-04-23T12:09:00.002-05:00

As this blog came up on my screen just a few minutes ago, I was stunned to discover that it has been a year since I posted here! YIKES!! While I would love to reflect on the last year and wander slowly down memory lane, there just isn't the time for that at the moment... I am editing a wedding, school portraits, and several family sessions. Time doesn't seem to be on my side these days:(. However, I am thankful for this season of busy-ness!! The Lord continues to be gracious in spite of my many shortcomings and I will never be able to wrap my head around His goodness!!

My photography business is growing... truly by leaps and bounds and maintaining this blog in addition to my photography blog is overwhelming and I end up keeping neither one completel updated. So... here is how to follow the adventures of the Hodges' family and my photography business:

www.monicajune.com

Please come visit us there:)!

Christmas in July, well, really May...

2009-05-05T20:15:00.003-05:00

I am the queen of good intentions - take tonight for example, I bought Mother's Day presents for the mothers in my life. However... it won't surprise me at all if it takes me two weeks (or longer) to get these items boxed up and shipped out.

Enter Christmas cards - every single year I have the intention of having my cards and letter, signed, sealed and delivered the week of Thanksgiving! Well... it is the first full week of May and you guessed it, the Christmas cards and letter are just now going in the mail. Make that the Christmas cards from the past two years!!

Oh well, better late than never, right??

So, for those of you that I hand delivered the Christmas cards to, here's the letter to go with it:)!

Merry Christmas all year round:)!

Christmas in July, Ok, well May…

Hello everyone…

Slacker – that’s the only word for it – slacker, slacker, slacker!! Yes, you are seriously getting TWO Christmas cards in one envelope with a letter on Valentine’s paper and it is almost the middle of MAY!!! (After I missed Christmas, I was going to send out the Christmas cards with a Valentine’s letter.)

I really have the best of intentions – every year I vow that I’m going to have the Christmas cards out by Thanksgiving with a nice Christmas letter on top of it! And, well, you see the resultsJ!

So much has happened in our lives, as I’m sure it has in everyone else’s!! I know this because I get your Christmas cards and letters (on time, I might add, in direct contrast to my extreme tardiness!)! Seriously – one of the highlights of my year is when I get Christmas cards! I love to sit and look at the pictures and see how all the kiddos are growing and to read about how your lives are going as well!

Anyway… Megan is graduating this month and leaving the nest to head for Canada! She is pursuing her dream of becoming a very competitive show jumper and having her own equestrian facility. It seems hard to believe that the teeny tiny baby that
was born so very early almost eighteen years ago, is really old enough to be graduating from high school and heading out the door. In my mind she is still that little bitty baby and the feisty toddler and the sweet little elementary school girl. She isn’t all grown up. Really. She’s not. Oh, but she is! I am ever amazed at God’s goodness in blessing me with her. I couldn’t ask for anything more – she even keeps her bedroom spotless. All the time. Without a word from me. Seriously! Don’t ask how that happened because as the years roll by I seem to become more and more unorganized. She is driven, focused and ready to face the future more than I think I am even today. She blows me away!

So… what is she going to be doing in Canada?? She will be living at an equestrian facility (www.wachterhorses.com). While she is there she will assist in all areas of the facility – from the breeding program to manual labor, from breaking and training horses to being trained as a rider, from assisting at very high level competitions
(think mini-Olympics) to competing at those same competitions. She is so very excited and honestly, while Wyatt and I will miss her, we are very excited for her.

Speaking of Wyatt… can anyone say “little guy with a mind as sharp as a tack, a sense of humor to rival an adults and a will that is steel enforced driven by the energizer bunny”? If you can say all of that, you have summed up our little guy perfectly! He is seriously smart – I’m not biased. Really. Remember, I’m an educator. The kid is smart – the other day it was 7:08 and he said, without pausing to think, “Hey mom. It’s 7:08. My bedtime is 8:00. That means I have 52 minutes until bedtime.” Umm. Wow. You’re right! He is seriously funny as well – my list of “Wyatt stories” is a mile long!! His strong will wears me out on a daily basis – it takes everything I have to stay one step ahead of this guy! This worries me, because the older I get, the slower I get and he seems to just speed up. Anyone see a potential problem in the futureJ? He is also such a sweet little boy – he always, well almost always, has time to give hugs and kisses to his mommy. Melts my heart. Everytime. He is in first grade right now and stays busy with Cub Scouts, AWANAs and friends. The dude is a social butterfly always asking when the next play date is. He keeps Megan and me laughing and pulling our hair out all at the same time, all the time! What a joy and an indescribable gift from Heaven.

As far as Heaven goes, it had been almost five years since Kyle went to be there. My mind has a hard time wrapping around that fact. He is still missed so very much and we talk about him on a regular basis. Wyatt is full of questions about what his daddy was like. While it is always fun to answer his questions, it is also heartbreaking because part of my heart rebels at the thought that Kyle isn’t here to see his kids grow up. I fight the notion, well, the reality really, that he is gone and all we’re left with are our memories and pictures. Such a big hole that God is gracious enough to put bubble wrap around and continue healing.

As you can tell, Megan and Wyatt keep me so very busy, but I manage to throw a few of my own activities into the mix as well. We are active at church – I teach in the single parent ministry every third weekend and stay busy with the choir. After being home for two school years, I went back to work part time in order to have decent health insurance at a fraction of private health insurance costJ. I work for Spring Branch ISD as a Literacy Coach – this means that I work with the teachers and help them with their literacy instruction. I really like the job and am so blessed to be working for a wonderful principal. In addition to that, my love for photography has grown from a hobby to a business and this year (2009) I have literally seen an explosion in the amount I am shooting. I love it and wouldn’t trade it for the world. My website is www.monicajune.com and is slowly coming along. My goal is to use the summer to really make it a fabulous marketing tool and to continue to grow my business.

Life is so good. Although we fuss from time to time, we really shouldn’t! God is so good to us and for His blessings we are tremendously thankful! We hope that you are having a wonderful year and I look forward to everyone’s cards again this winter. Hopefully, I’ll do better about getting my own cards in the mail. Although, now that I think about it, “Christmas in July” (or May) might be a fun Hodges’ traditionJ!

Praying for God’s richest blessings on all of you,
Monica, Megan and Wyatt

She's graduating...

2009-04-29T13:58:00.002-05:00

It really doesn't seem possible that the little 2lb, 3.4 ounce baby girl that entered the world so suddenly and so very early, is really almost eighteen years old and finishing high school. The announcements came in the mail today and seeing them makes everything real in a whole new way. I knew it was coming, but now it is real. She's a young adult, ready to launch into the world. I think I only blinked once. That's how fast these last eighteen years have flown.

She really is my hero - the obstacles she has overcome and the challenges she has faced head-on would be daunting for anyone, let alone a little girl. I admire her tenacity, focus and drivenness. She knows what she wants and she is going for it.

On May 21st she is headed to Innisfail, Canada, where she will be living and training. She is going to be learning how to run an equestrian facility from the inside out - from breeding, working with stallions, working with mares, working with foals, training the horses, training riders and being trained as a rider. Her goals are to compete at high levels of English show jumping and to eventually have her own equestrian facility. Given her track record, I have no doubt that she'll achieve all that she aspires to and more. Here's to you my sweet girl!

PS - Her mommy took the pictures and did the announcement - not bad, huh?? (It is really easy when you have such a beautiful subject to photograph!)

Inquiring Minds Want To Know...

2009-04-10T16:03:00.002-05:00

Or so I have been told... It HAS been a really, really LONG time since I've updated my blog - sooo... sorry!! Anyway, I've been told, "Update your blog - inquiring minds want to know what's going on with your family." So, Angie - my faithful reader;) - here's an update...

We are all doing well and life continues to move forward at warp speed. I know I sound like such a dork when I say this, but it seems hard to believe that it is Easter weekend - I still haven't mailed my Christmas cards yet!!!

Anyway... Megan is almost a high school graduate, Wyatt is ready for second grade (at least that's what he tells me - he wants his 2nd grade math book already!) and I am continuing to make it through the school year as well as trying to shoot as much as possible. Over the past five weeks I shot two weddings, three newborns and a handful of families. Tomorrow morning I am doing a senior shoot and a family shoot - it should be fun!!

Megan is firming up her post-high-school-graduation plans and while I'm not going to unveil them yet, it has something to do with horses (surprise, surprise) and Canada... yes, you read that right, Canada!

Stay tuned for lots of pics, more news about Canada, funny stories from the Wy man, news about my website and even more pics:)! Oh, Happy Easter!

An engagement...

2009-01-09T12:01:00.010-06:00

Sweet friends of mine from church are getting married in February and I have the privilege of being their wedding photographer - yesterday we traveled to the edge of downtown to do their engagement shoot. I don't know about them, but I had a blast - before we left, I asked if they were ready for an adventure and it was a good thing they answered yes, because an adventure is what we had - from homeless men being territorial about one of the places we were shooting to lots of broken glass, empty bottles and blue toilets - take a peek at some of my favorite shots...

2008-12-14T16:35:00.003-06:00

**Update - I posted this before Christmas and even today, Miranda's eyes haunt me. Feelings of not having done enough flood over me and cause my heart to break. Our world is full of hurting people and that is exactly what Christmas (and everyday for that matter) is all about - telling the good news of a Savior who came to earth as a precious baby boy just so that all of us who are sitting on the curb, can know His peace, can know Him.

May 2009 find us all reaching to those who are sitting on the curb!

These thoughts have been swirling in my head for a week now, but quiet time to sit and type is at a premium these days.

Last Sunday morning I drove my aunt and uncle to the airport. Between sips of strong coffee, my aunt and I chatted somewhat animatedly on the way there, with the occasional dry witted remark from my uncle. It was only 7:45 in the morning and the day before was one full of activity and excitement. Our extended family celebrated Christmas - it was beautiful chaos. Now we were left to reminisce and look forward to what the rest of December might hold.

After dropping them off at the curb, I pulled out of Hobby airport and began the trek home, lost in my thoughts, mentally planning my day and humming along to the Christmas music from the radio. Inevitably my thoughts turned to Christmases past, more specifically, I began to count how many Christmases have passed since Kyle celebrated with us, here on the earth. This will be our 5th Christmas without him. Like scenes from a movie, memories floated through my mind - Wyatt's first Christmas, Megan's special gift for Kyle the first Christmas that the three of us were a family, the Christmas that Megan and Kyle thought they would be cool and hide my gift in the tree - a sapphire necklace and ring- thank goodness we found them before completely tearing the tree apart. The last Christmas we had as we ate dinner in a restaurant in Temple, TX and he gave me the most precious gift he'd ever given me, all warranted a sigh.

Lest I get too caught up in my own life, the Lord has a way of getting my attention in a hurry. I was almost to the Beltway and out of the corner of my eye I saw her. Sitting on the curb in flip flops, pajama pants, a knit top with a trench coat belted tightly, wind-blown hair and tired eyes with mascara streaking down her cheeks, there she was. I tried to drive on by, but the Lord wouldn't let me. I figured she had a gun in her coat, but He knew she held a blessing just for me. I was so determined to drive on by that I even turned the corner, but quickly turned right back into the parking lot and headed straight for her.

As I got ever closer, my heart began to pound, not knowing what to expect. In today's world helping those who are stranded can come with a risk. I rolled down my window and asked if there was some way that I could help her. She responded that she didn't know, she didn't know what she needed - her boyfriend kicked her out of the car three hours earlier and she was just sitting there trying to decide what to do. She mentioned the cost of the hotel rooms around her and that several men had already stopped to proposition her, but that she was not that kind of girl. It was clear that she was holding onto her composure by just a thread, a thin thread at that. We continued to talk and I asked if there was somewhere I could take her or someone we could call. No, there were no friends, no family. She was just going to wait it out to see if her boyfriend would come back for her. I did tell her I couldn't afford to put her in a hotel room, but I gave her some cash. A drop in the very big bucket of her empty heart and eyes. I pointed her to a church and shared what my experience had been at that church and that I knew they would help her with arms of love and acceptance wide open, no questions asked. She didn't want me to take her there, but she did clarify that she had the name of the church right.

Before pulling away, feeling completely powerless to help her, I asked if she would tell me her first name so that I could pray for her. She kind of half smiled and said, "Miranda". I drove away with tears in my eyes and tears in my heart. Even now as I type my eyes are filling with tears.

It is so easy in this season, but really in any season, to get caught up in our own losses, our own grief, our own agendas and all around us "Mirandas" are sitting on the curb, just waiting to know that someone cares, that they matter to someone. Not every "Miranda" is sitting on a curb outside, it could be your neighbor, your friend from work or high school or college. It could be someone from church or playgroup or your child's school. Rest assured, we are all surrounded by a Miranda.

This Christmas, may our Heavenly Father open our eyes to the "Mirandas" of the world. They're there - just sitting on the curb. Waiting.

Our Christmas Card...

2008-12-12T11:09:00.002-06:00

I was so excited when I got the proof for our Christmas card this morning, that I just had to share it and give a shout out to the ladies who made it happen...

Sally Brewer, in Virginia, took the pictures this summer when we were out there visiting my brother and his family - www.sallybrewer.com - all of the pictures were wonderful and I just had to use them for our card.

Heidi, of www.keepsakedesigns.net, created the card and didn't she do a fabulous job??

Thanks ladies - the card looks wonderful and I can't wait to send it to all of our friends and family!

Another sneak peek...

2008-12-07T20:37:00.008-06:00

Here's a sneak peek for the "P" family - Mrs. P is a great mom (not that all my other clients aren't great moms, because they are), I kept telling her I needed to take lessons from her on encouraging my kids - she was so positive with them:)

Anyway... here are a few of my favorites... enjoy!

What a sweet "daddy-daughter" moment

Mom and her boys
Mom and her princess

I love it when I catch kiddos laughing...

Little man was sure that his big sister has STINKY FEET:)!

Beautiful family...

I love, love, love this one...

Little man...

The Big Sister...

Big Brother...

"Yes, they are all mine!"

Sweet moment...

Everyone is all smiles...

Sneak Peek for the K Family

2008-12-04T16:00:00.004-06:00

A long-awaited post for the K family... Enjoy - it was such fun to be with your beautiful girls and to capture everyone's smiles (and Miss E's other expressions)
on camera.

(Mrs. P - your sneak peek is coming soon!!)

We're having fun now:)

Don't these next two just make you smile??

Sweet little girls...

Such a tender moment!

Little Miss E and her mommy

Princess M and her mommy

The big girls loving on the baby...

Wow... Lock the doors when she gets older, Dad!!

What an infectious grin!

Baby K wasn't too thrilled with this one, but it is still a sweet shot!

The "K" Family

NOT according to plan...

2008-12-02T12:05:00.009-06:00

I am a planner. I have lists and I like for things to happen according to MY plans. Don't most of us??

I met Baby "E" a couple of months ago, just as work was beginning (again) on my long awaited blogsite for my photography. MY plan was that Baby "E" would be my first "Sneak Peek" on the new blogsite. How perfect would that have been... "And now... introducing..." - Baby E and my blogsite! New baby, new blogsite! It would have been great.

Obviously, since I am posting the sneak peeks of Baby "E" here and not on my blogsite, things haven't gone according to plan. (Don't worry, "E"s mommy got a cd of all the pics a long time ago...)

December is now in full bloom and my thoughts shift to another time and another place when things didn't go according to plan. A young bride to be, anticipating all that marriage and life would have for her, never dreaming that HER plans would be interrupted and altered with eternal effects. I've wondered what it must have been like to be Mary - to be that young teenager who has to face her groom, her parents, her family and tell them that an angel told her she was going to be the mother of God's son.

Can you imagine the terror that must have taken hold of her initially?? She was fully aware that Joseph could have her put away. She was fully aware that she could have been stoned for what others surely assumed was infedility. She was fully aware that her plan had just been changed. Forever.

And yet, she remained calm. Nowhere in scripture do I find that Mary panicked or ran away or hid or did anything other than rest in God's plan. She knew who held her in the palm of His hand and she knew that He would take care of her. I'm sure that must be why God chose her and not me or any of the rest of us. Oh, to have Mary's calm spirit, to have her faith, to have her peace.

This holiday season I have a plan. Things to do. Places to go. People to see. Gifts to buy. The list is never ending.

This holiday season He has a plan. Things to do - places to go - people to touch and the greatest gift has already been given. His list is bigger than mine. You and I are on His list.

Take a peek at Baby E and imagine another baby, just as perfect, just as beautiful, just as human, who a little over 2000 years ago became the greatest gift ever given. His toes were just as tiny, his fingers just as precious, his yawn's just as big. His mommy held Him in her hands just like Baby E's mommy holds her.

Imagine Mary staring at her baby with all the wonder and joy that Baby E's mommy is looking at her. Imagine what it must have been like to have your plans not just a little but changed, but turned inside out and upside down.

The timeless entered the temporal. It was all part of His plan and aren't you glad?

Sweet Baby "E"

Perfect in every way...
Tiny toes... Big yawn...
Sleeping peacefully...

Tiny fingers...
What better place to be than in mommy's arms...

Sweet dreams baby girl...

Just watching the world...

More tiny fingers...

Baby E and her precious Mommy

May your holiday season be filled with miracles.

Sneak Peek for the G... Family...

2008-11-27T16:40:00.004-06:00

Here are some more sneak peeks from my time with the G family - their little girl was beautiful and it was such fun to capture all three of them on camera:)!

I think this is Miss L telling us she's had enough of the smiling gig!

How precious is this one - definitely a Daddy's girl (at least for the moment)!!

Here's another sweet family I had the privilege of shooting the other day - I tried to upload more than just these five, but Blogger was giving me a hard time - I'll try to add some more later:)! Enjoy these in the meantime...

Sneak Peek for the S... Family

2008-11-27T16:13:00.007-06:00

Here you go, Mama S... your girls are always such fun to shoot - they love to smile and have such a good time together - I loved the dresses! Enjoy...

Sneak Peek for Brad and Kellie...

2008-11-22T22:56:00.006-06:00

Cami is now eight months old and very curious about the world around her!

It was so much fun to watch her interact with her mommy and daddy and with the camera - she was full of smiles!

She was headed straight for the camera...

"Who are these people and why do the keep kissing my cheeks??"

"Watch out - here I come!"

"Yes, they adore me - I have them wrapped around my little fingers!"

What a sweet family!

Long Time, No Posting...

2008-11-22T22:07:00.002-06:00

It seems that the last two months have gone by in rapid fashion and I am staring at the calendar wondering what happened to them! I wish I could say that these past two months passed right on by while I was lounging away the hours, but that would be far from the truth:)!! We have been so busy, that while I am not ready for the holidays, they will be a welcome break from the crazy life that we call normal:)!

If you're wondering what we have been doing, here is a quick recap:

MEGAN: Megan has been working hard at schoolwork, narrowing down her college choices, moving up a level in horseback, dealing with the fallout from her first accident (she'll be taking defensive driving for Christmas), and just managing life as a seventeen year old!

WYATT: Wyatt has also been hard at work with schoolwork - he loves Math but hates Reading (sounds like his daddy!). He has also been to Chess Club, playing tennis, learning verses for AWANAS, and keeping his mom and his sister hopping with all of his silly antics.

MOM: I have spent the past two months with an almost non-stop sinus infection - we got rid of our cats, per the dr's advice, and even that hasn't seemed to help. I guess I am destined to live with a stuffy nose. Wyatt and I took a fast trip to KY to see my high school friends and go to a Halloween party - as always, we had a wonderful time visiting everyone. I even got to walk in the Breast Cancer Walk while I was there. Besides homeschooling two children, working part time, and teaching Bible study at church, I am still working on my photography.

Oh, Wyatt lost his first tooth as well:)! We truly count our blessings and are glad we are able to have such full lives - we just sometimes wish they weren't soooo.... full:)!

We're almost ready...

2008-10-31T15:42:00.003-05:00

We are soo... excited!!! We had Wyatt's birthday party a couple of weeks ago - he wanted a military party so that's what we did - right down to "Birthday Rations" and a "Search and Rescue Mission"!

Part of what we happened that day was collecting items for the soldiers that are serving overseas! Our container for the soldiers was overflowing and we have been anxious to get everything boxed up - the only holdup was finding an address to send the packages to.

Finally this afternoon I have been able to find an address and we will be sending these items to a unit of Marines in Afghanistan!!! Can you believe it?? I'm so overwhelmed - an idea that started one rainy afternoon is coming full circle and my little guy's wish to help someone he doesn't know is really coming true! Stay tuned for pictures and more information!

Special thanks to Jodi at www.SupportingOurHeroes.com for connecting us to Sgt. Maj. Richard and his 500 Marines!!

Hank Williams Jr Gets It Right...

2008-10-29T10:39:00.004-05:00

Going Political

2008-10-29T10:36:00.002-05:00

There is much at stake with this election - the following videos and "note" give some humorous as well as scary information...

I'm voting democrat because Barbara Walters is my idol and so is P.Diddy.

I'm voting Democrat because English has no place being the official language in America.

I'm voting Democrat because I'd rather pay $4 for a gallon of gas than allow drilling for oil off the coasts of America.

I'm voting Democrat because I think the government will do a better job of spending my money than I could.

I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Afghanistan and Iraq, I know the Islamic terrorists will stop trying to kill us because they'll think we're a good and decent country.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe people who can't tell us if it will
rain in two or three days, can now tell us the polar ice caps will
disappear in ten years if I don't start riding a bicycle, build a windmill or inflate my tires to proper levels.

I'm voting Democrat because it's alright to kill millions of babies as
long as we keep violent, convicted murderers on death row alive.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe businesses in America should not be
allowed to make profits. Businesses should just break even and give the
rest to the government so politicians and bureaucrats can redistribute the money the way they think it should be redistributed.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe guns, and not the people misusing them, are the cause of crimes and killings.

I'm voting Democrat because when someone with a weapon threatens my family or me, I know the government can respond faster through a call to 911 than I can with a gun in my hand.

I'm voting Democrat because oil companies' 5% profit on a gallon of gas are obscene, but government taxes of 18% on the same gallon of gas are just fine.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four elitist liberals should rewrite the Constitution every few months to suit some fringe element that could never get their agenda past voters.

I'm voting Democrat because illegal aliens are not criminals, are not sucking up resources through government aid, hospital services, education,
or social services, but are just people trying to make a better life by coming to America illegally. We can't blame them for that, can we?

I'm voting Democrat because the same teacher that didn't teach my child to read can reasonably educate them about sex.

I'm voting Democrat because my trial lawyer's crippling multi-million dollar lawsuits against doctors, hospitals, drug companies, and HMO's will make health insurance and medicine much more affordable.

I'm voting Democrat because Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, and Jesse Jackson will end racism once and for all.

I'm voting Democrat because Christians in the Republican Party are intolerant, theocratic warmongers and atheists like William Ayers have never hurt anybody.

I'm voting Democrat so that no family member of mine will die in a hospital bed. They will still be waiting in line for Obama's socialized medicine, so they will never actually make it into a hospital bed.

I'm voting Democrat because I like eminent domain and big business and government kicking me out of my home and taking my land.

I'm voting Democrat because everyone knows that raising taxes at the top won't hurt people at the bottom.

I'm voting Democrat because skin color and good oratory skills are more important than judgment and experience.

I'm voting Democrat because protecting barren wasteland is more important than energy indepedence.

I'm voting Democrat because my college professor told me that America is evil and should give up its place in the world.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that Cuba, Russia, and China should be on the United Nations Human Rights Council.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that everyone is essentially good -- even people like Ahmadinejad who call for the destruction of Israel. He just needs a little understanding.

I'm voting Democrat because we should all be forced to drive ugly cars with the horsepower of a riding lawnmower.

I am voting Democrat because I believe in change; although I don't know WHAT the change will be, or HOW i t will happen, AND I am pretty sure that I won't WANT to actually change anything I do, but still....I believe in change.

I'm voting Democrat because the government knows how to raise children better than parents do.

I'm voting Democrat because I want the rich to work harder, give me their money, and pay for my services so I don't have to.

Now if you believe I will vote democrat, just string me up to the nearest tree

"I am not young enough to know everything." -Oscar Wilde

Wow - puts it all in perspective doesn't it??

I'm Meredith!!!

2008-10-12T22:52:00.001-05:00

And just for the record, I did not have to take the quiz four times to finally end up being Meredith:)!

The Little Things...

2008-09-17T10:57:00.002-05:00

Today I smiling about the little things...

*Hurricane Ike forced all to stay home... with each other:)
*A gas station with gas has never been so appreciated:)
*The sound of the kids playing outside - their squeals and shouts of laughter and seemingly
lack of awareness of all that has transpired is priceless
*Cool breezes
*70-80 degree weather

We take so much for granted - Ike was such a big reminder!

Wyatt's commentary on the porta-potti...

2008-09-14T12:14:00.003-05:00

Anyone who knows Wyatt knows he always has something to say. This video was taken in the summer of 2007 by our very special friend, Marti! Thanks for sharing Marti!!
(You may want to turn the sound on the slide show and my playlist off in order to hear Wyatt.)

"It's Kinda Yellow"

Ike Took a Hike...

2008-09-14T09:17:00.003-05:00

Ike has finally taken a hike but not before exacting an estimated $8 billion worth of damage to the Gulf Coast area. Praise God that none of that damage occurred to my home, however; my heart hurts for those who were on the receiving end of the devastation. We only lost power for about three hours and our cable, phone and internet were down for most of the day yesterday, but things are back to normal in the Hodges' house today. Well... as normal as they ever are! Normal meaning Wyatt was up early, ready to go, Megan is still sleeping (it is only 9:20am) and I am nursing a big ole cup of coffee while working on the computer:).

This was my second hurricane to ride out - the first being Hurricane Frederick in 1979 when it hit Mobile, AL. We lived about 60 miles or so north of Mobile. I remember loading up the next day or so in the car with my parents as we drove to Mobile to survey the damage. Those images are still with me. I imagine that they match what Galveston looks like today and will look like for several weeks to come. I was awestruck then at the power of water and wind and I am awestruck again. With age, however, comes experience and at eight years old I didn't get what the devastation meant. These days I completely get it and how I am so grateful this morning that we were spared. The parts of Katy and west Houston that I drove through yesterday have nothing in comparison with Galveston. There are fallen trees, awnings that have been ripped off, debris littering the roadways (but small debris - no boats!), broken fences, broken roofs, but, as far as I know, all life was spared on this end of town.

In some ways I think Ike is a testimony to the power of prayer - he was expected to be so much larger than he was, so much more devastating - forecasters were expecting him to reach a category 3 or a category 4 before he reached landfall. He never reached a category three and downgraded to a category 1 as he began moving inland. The storm surge was not as high as was expected either. Each of those things are what many throughout the area were praying specifically for. It's as if the large, unseen hand of God reached down right in front of Ike and slowed him down - not allowing him to gain strength or to be as devastating as once forecasted!

As I posted before...
Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save, He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

He was definitely with us, He saved us and in the middle of the night, when the storm was raging so very loudly, He quieted me with His love.

We're wearing sweatpants...

2008-09-12T11:41:00.005-05:00

Yes, you read that right... we're wearing sweatshirts and sweatpants... it is all part of our preparation for the storm that hasn't even hit yet, but water levels are already rising in Galveston - about 100 miles southeast of us.

So... here's what we've done:

loaded up on groceries (I've been to the grocery store three times)
made sure the cars were full of gas

gathered all of our batteries and flashlights

rearranged the freezer so that I could put gallon size storage bags filled with water in the freezer - this way when the power goes out there are huge blocks of ice on top of everything - my freezer has rarely been this full!!

put a pot roast in the crockpot - it smells so yummy and we'll have a great supper tonight:)

boiled noodles so that we can have spaghetti tomorrow night if the power is out

turned my freezer and refrigerator colder

turned my AC down to 65 so that my house is freezing - supposedly doing this will help to keep the temperature from rising so quickly when the power goes out, thus the sweatpants and warm clothes
gathered all of my bandaids and first aid items so they are all in one place instead of some in each bathroom and they are in a container in the kitchen

all outside toys, flower pots, benches, etc... are in my garage

did I mention I've been to the grocery store three times??

made coffee so at least I can have cold coffee or I can warm it up on my gas stove:)

went to Toys R Us and got new board games

Today we are...

filling our bathtubs with water

baking brownies - chocolate makes everything better, right??

making sure all laundry is done

having some quality family time:)!!

hooking up a new dvd player - Wyatt broke ours accidentally this morning and as long as we have power we might as well watch movies

playing on the computer - backing up all of my pictures, etc...

I'll be uploading pictures shortly...

Taking Charge... Or Not

2008-09-11T00:48:00.004-05:00

It is 12:46am on Thursday, Sept. 11th. The calm before the storm. Literally. Ike is headed our direction and sleep eludes me. I wish I had taken my camera out with me when I ran errands this evening - those of you who don't live here will think this sounds, well, surreal, but picture this - cars four and five deep waiting to get gas, Wal Mart ran out of gas, the shelves at HEB (one of our major grocery stores) empty of water, empty of "D" batteries, empty of flashlights, lines eight, nine and ten carts deep in the store, Randall's (another grocery store) was out of batteries, almost out of bread, and people everywhere - at midnight! Cars were on the road totally loaded up - plywood is scarce - and yet, inside my house there is no sound save the clicking of the keyboard. Well, that and the buzzing of my phone with text messages. (Yes, there is someone texting me at 1:00am:) - but that's another story for another day!)

I got panicky tonight when I was driving home from work - one set of neighbors has their saw out, cutting board for their windows, another neighbor was loading up their suburban. So I called my dad...

"Dad, what are you hearing? What do you think?"

"Monica, I think ya'll aught to think about heading our way."

"Dad, you realize that's five animals, two kids, one me and two carloads of stuff???"

"Bring it on, Monica." (Actually I think he said, "OK", but the other sounds better - don't you think??)

"Hmmm... I think I'll ride this one out at the moment. I may change my mind tomorrow though. I'll let you know. Thanks Dad."

My panic goes up a notch. So, I call the person who is texting me as I type at this moment.

"I'm getting panicky!!"

"Monica, can you control the weather?"

"Not the last time I checked. Although, you do know that God has consulted with me from time to time - it's one of my gifts:)!"

""Great, that's good to know. But since I don't think God has consulted with you this time and you can't control the weather, what can you do?"

"Umm... relax?? Just make sure I have what we need??"

"Wow - your roots must be brown! Brilliant solution!"

Ok, so maybe the conversation didn't go exactly like that, but close. And yes, I needed to hear that I can't control the weather - my worrying and whining - (I even called my homeowner's insurance this afternoon to check some specifics as far as potential damage) aren't going to change one thing except me - I will use up precious energy on all the wrong things.

God is in control. This storm isn't taking Him by surprise and He knows exactly what will happen. So what do I do?? I do what is most difficult for me to do - just my part. That's all He wants me to do - use common sense, take proper precautions and leave the rest to Him.
Ohh... how I struggle with that - how I think He needs my help! He doesn't - He has it all under control. And the best part - He will take care of Megan, Wyatt and me!

Zephaniah 3:17, "I. the Lord your God, am with you. Mighty to save, I take delight in you. I will quiet you with My love and rejoice o're you with singing. I, the Lord your God, am with you."

It's been a while...

2008-09-09T21:30:00.004-05:00

My little Cub Scout headed to his first den meeting
He is so excited about his Cub Scout handbook
His sister being silly as she drives off with the little Cub Scout:)

Author Michael Wright at Blue Willow Bookshop

It has been such a long time since I've posted anything - it isn't that I haven't wanted to, we have just been moving at the speed of light! August is always like that!! The start of school has everything in a frenzy! September has finally arrived and with it comes a little bit of calm (when we're not worried about hurricanes hitting us) and life is a little bit more routine:)! Is it a sign of old age to say that I relish routine?? Well, even if it is, I do!

So what have we been up to... I had a Girls' Weekend Away at my friend, Judi's, river house on the Guadalupe River, the kids and I went on a cruise with our friends from church, we went to see Steven Curtis Chapman in concert at the Astros game - what a great 2 for 1 - a concert and a game (if only the Astros would have won), Wyatt and I went to Boerne to see a Leonardo DaVinci exhibit that was fascinating, we went to meet an author at our favorite bookstore - BlueWillow (http://www.bluewillowbookshop.com/) - the author was Michael Wright - he was hilarious, Megan started her senior year of high school and she went back to work at Pine Cove Crier Creek (http://www.pinecove.com/), Wyatt lost his first tooth and started first grade as a homeschooler - we are both loving it, he also started Cub Scouts and I am continuing to teach two Bible study classes at church as well as sing in the choir - I'm tired all over again after typing all of that:)

I'm including a few pictures and will post more later!

A New Hodges!!!

2008-07-30T16:13:00.004-05:00

Our new baby
Francis - keeping his distance
Sweet baby girl
So far she is nameless, but I'm going back and forth between Amelia, Ava, Carolina, Celia, Emlen, Francesca and Gracie. Almost two years ago my calico cat of 19 years died. I vowed I would never have another cat, let alone another calico. Well... meet our new baby... little "sister" to Megan's cat, Francis. (Thus the Latin name possibilities!) She is so sweet and curious. Francis is still warming up to her as you'll notice in the distance he is keeping from me and the cat in the pictures. We'll let you know what we decide to name her...

Happy 60th Birthday Mom...

2008-07-27T09:19:00.005-05:00

Saturday was my mom's 60th birthday. Months ago we asked her what she wanted for her birthday and she asked for us to be part of her trip to Uganda next summer, whether by donating to the organization she will be helping or by donating to the school there. She is going to be there with a group called Africa Renewal -.. We are so excited for her and for this opportunity. As you look at the pictures you'll see the "African" theme - her cake had teh Ugandan flag on it and we used animal print napkins with black and gold plates and silverware. We had fun and judging by the many smiles Mom had throughout the afternoon, I think she had fun too:)! Special thanks to our cousins, Mike and Linda, for driving in to share the afternoon with us!

Pics from Louisville...

2008-07-22T21:59:00.004-05:00

We spent the last part of our vacation in Louisville with my high school friends, Amy, Amber and Sheila. We always have such a great time when we're there and this time was extra special because we all got to meet Sheila's new addition - baby Sarah!

Enjoy the pics!!

We're On Vacation...

2008-07-14T21:50:00.003-05:00

Well... I promised pictures and daily updates about our vacation and obviously that hasn't happened:(! There just don't seem to be enough hours in the day!!! But so far...

WEDNESDAY, JULY 9th... (Megan's 17th Birthday)
4am - the alarm went off and I got busy getting dressed and getting kids ready so we could head to the airport. We made it in plenty of time and caught our flight to Dulles International Airport in our nation's capital. When we were landing Wyatt was looking out the window and I told him that we were landing in the city that our
president lived in. His response, "Well, what do you know! I've always wanted to visit the White House!" My parents picked us up at the airport and we headed for Centreville, VA.
4pm - We met up with my brother, sister-in-law and two nephews for a family picnic, portrait and birthday dinner. We have three July birthdays in the family so we celebrated all of the birthdays and smiled pretty for the pictures.

THURSDAY, JULY 10th (Nephew, Connor's 5th Birthday)
We slept in a little bit and then headed into the city to do some sightseeing! I vowed I wasn't doing any sightseeing this trip, but when my little guy asked so very sweetly to go see the White House, how could I say no? What a trip!!! Parking, traffic and just general craziness are par for course! Wyatt loved seeing the White House and was very upset when he realized we weren't going to be invited in:)! We also saw many monuments, rode the subway and went to the Air and Space Museum. Our trip through the museum gave me a new vocabulary word: "wyattspeed":)

FRIDAY, JULY 11th On Friday we just hung out in the Northern Virginia area with my sister-in-law and nephews. The boys had such a good time being together! We also went swimming with a friend of mine that I've had since my parents lived there - her name is Wendy and she has two little girls. After spending a couple of hours with our boys she was very thankful God gave her two little girls:). On Friday evening my mom had a "Reunion Choir Rehearsal" - the church in Centreville where my dad used to be on staff was having a 50th Anniversary Celebration.

SATURDAY, JULY 12th - Today was all about the picnic at church - there were inflatables for all of the kids and so many old friends to visit with. This is the church my parents attended (and my dad was on staff) when Megan was born and so many people couldn't believe she is already 17 - I agreed wholeheartedly when they asked where the time went - I don't know!!!

SUNDAY, JULY 13th - This morning was the 50th Anniversary Service for Centreville Baptist Church -what a sweet time of fellowship. The service was held under a huge tent that had room for 2000 people - it seemed that the tent was almost full. Since Wyatt isn't used to attending services (our church has children's worship for kids his age), we came armed with many choices for him to remain occupied. After the service we grabbed a quick lunch and then headed back for naps. While Megan and I took naps, Wyatt, Papa and Gramma went to the Dulles Airport Air and Space Museum annex. Wyatt loved the stealth bomber and the many military planes. We ended the evening by having dinner with Dianna (my sister-in-law) and my nephews, Brendan and Connor. Sunday evening was bittersweet as it was our last evening together.

MONDAY, JULY 14th - On to the next stop - Louisville, KY! My parents headed home, but Megan, Wyatt and I headed to Louisville, KY to visit my high school friends. We are here now and are having a great time - there is such comfort when you come "home" to those who have known you (and still choose to like you) for almost twenty-five years!

More updates to come and hopefully some pictures!!

An Unwelcome Visitor:)

2008-07-07T14:46:00.003-05:00

Just a few moments ago Megan was headed to the stable (where else does she go??). I heard the front door close, ok, really it was a small slam, but then I heard a very loud, very girly shriek followed by "MOM!!!". I went running to the head of the stairs and Megan is gasping for air as she is trying to holler "Wasp!" "There's a wasp!" "Look, I can't leave - there's a wasp!" While I was glad it isn't a burglar or anything like that, I don't like wasps very much either, so we found that we were in a little predicament - I'm upstairs, Megan is in the entryway and a wasp is hovering (menacingly I might add!) in between us.

Taking a deep breath I head downstairs because last week I bought wasp spray (I've seen some on our front porch over the past couple of weeks) and it is still in the family room where I dropped the bag when I came back from Home Depot. Carefully I make my way down the stairs keeping an eye on the wasp the whole time. He is headed up the stairs. I'm trying to move quickly and quietly without waving my arms around batting at it or shrieking at it - I didn't want him to notice me! Megan, however, is still shrieking at the top of her lungs. I grab the wasp spray, throw the lid to the side and head back to the entryway to destroy this creature! He's not there!! He doesn't appear to be in the dining room or in the kitchen or in the family room. So in our best stealth mode, Megan and I creep back up the stairs. She makes me go first. Wimp! She says it's because I had the wasp spray. Whatever! There we were, creeping around the upstairs hunting for the wasp!! Megan remarks that she can't believe we're playing hide and seek with a wasp - I counter that it is NOT hide and seek, it is "search and destroy"!

We walk around the upstairs and can't find the wasp - we go for a second trip and still can't find the wasp (Ok - so maybe it was a little like hide and seek!) Then Megan says, "Look for Francis (that's our cat) -he'd be freaking out if the wasp was up here." We find Francis in the toy room, head bobbing to the rhythm of a trapped wasp - there he was - in the corner of the window trying to escape!!! Megan starts shrieking again and "Combat Mama" goes to work - spraying and spraying and spraying!!

The poor wasp quickly hit the windowsill and continued to try to esape and "Combat Mama" continued to spray. It finally fell over on its back and waved surrender. At least that's what it looked like he was doing - probably he was just dying a slow painful death from the mounds of chemicals that I'd sprayed on him. FINALLY!!! He was dead. Of course he didn't totally give up the ghost until I sprayed him with Windex as well - I had to clean the spray off of the window and windowsill and the toys that I'd gotten. When I smashed him in the paper towel I finally felt comfortable that the wasp was dead:) Score one for "Combat Mama"!!! Megan sighed a huge sigh of relief - she could finally leave for the barn!

As she headed back out the front door I stopped her...

"Megan!"

"Yeah?"

"That wasp represents sin."

"What??!?!"

"Just like that wasp was an unwelcome visitor in our home, sin is an unwelcome visitor in our lives."

"Mom, you're insane"

"No, really - that wasp came in this house and we knew immediately that he represented danger and pain and we worked quickly to get him out of our house. We stopped at nothing until he was dead."

"Umm, Mom, I haven't done anything bad lately, have I?"

"No, I just wanted you to know that the wasp is like sin. You have to recognize and search and destroy to get it out of your life."

"Am I supposed to scream too?"

Oh well. I tried!

My Camera, My Life

2008-07-01T12:01:00.004-05:00

I always find it so interesting how the Lord gets my attention! I have a new camera, well, new since Novemeber of last year. It is pretty powerful and has so
many functions and programs and buttons, I get overwhelmed looking at all of them.
There is no doubt in my mind that the pictures I currently take are substandard
compared to what they could be if I were to take the time to read the manual and
follow the directions. I even have a dvd training guide that I can watch to learn
more about this camera and the ways to really use it up to its potential.

Today brought an unexpected surprise - time alone!! I'm having a little procedure
tomorrow and today I have to take some medicine and do some things in order to be
ready. A friend of mine called this morning and offered to take Wyatt for the day.
Megan is off with her own to-do list and so I've got the whole day to myself. WOW!!
I honestly can't remember the last time that happened. What an amazing thing to have a few hours to only take care of me:)!

We are going on a trip soon and I want to be able to take great pictures. In the back of my mind I've been trying to figure out when I could sit down and watch this
training dvd and read my camera manual. Short of between 10pm and midnight I had no solution. As soon as I realized I would be alone today I thought it would be the perfect time to sit down with my camera, the dvd and the manual. Excitement was building - I know it sounds crazy to ya'll - but taking pictures is one of my all time favorite things and I really want to get better at it. Learning how to use my camera as effectively as possible is part of that. So, here I am at home, alone and all ready to sit down in front of the tv when this little voice whispers in my ear. You know the voice - it is God checking to see if we're listening. Today I heard, "Hmmm..." That's it. "Hmmm..."

A deep sigh escaped because instantly it was clear to me exactly what the "Hmmm..." was all about. I'm on a trip currently - it is called life and I want it to be great - I want to have the best life possible! Don't we all? I want to have a life that is joy-filled and peaceful. Yet in my busyness, I keep plowing ahead, throwing a little patronizing glance at my Saviour from time to time hoping that those little moments will be enough to get me through. The parallel between my camera and my desire to use it as effectively as possible and my life are very apparent to me. Just as I cannot expect to have the best results possible with my camera until I sit down, read the instruction manual and go through the training dvd, so I cannot expect to have the best life possible until I take the time to get to know the One who gave me life. Having the best life while journeying in the seen, the here and now, is only a possibility when I am spending time with the instruction manual, aka God's word and I am interacting with Him. He is the giver of life, the author of life and therefore the One who is best able to teach us how to live life. The choice is mine at the moment... Am I going to use this time alone to get to know Him and dwell in His word or not? Hmmm...

John 10:10b, "... I am come that you might have life and that you might have it abundantly."

Today is the day...

2008-06-26T22:41:00.005-05:00

Today is the day that marks one more year of life lived without Kyle. Truthfully, I've been dreading it. Frankly, I have struggled more this past year - from year three to year four, than all of the other years combined. I don't know why, but grief is like that - an animal with its own agenda. Before you run, thinking that my post is going to be totally morose, don't run just yet - its not! Over the past few weeks as I've grown more and more apprehensive about the arrival of today, the 4th anniversary, the Lord has continued to whisper one word in my ear - "Celebrate". Quite an odd word for such a somber occasion. In order to find out what that word has to do with today, you'll just have to visit the new addition to the Hodges' blogs - www.hesgonehome.blogspot.com!

Family Pictures Slideshow

2008-06-21T22:43:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago we had family pictures taken. It had been a long time since we'd done that - below is the slide show from our shoot - you'll have to admit that I have precious kiddos!

Introducing Cami...

2008-06-14T14:15:00.006-05:00

This morning Wyatt and I headed to Richmond, TX, only a few miles from our house - Brad & Kellie - I didn't realize we were that close to you - within twenty minutes!! Anyway, we were headed to do a family shoot. The exciting thing for me is that this is the 4th time I've shot Brad and Kellie - I did their engagement pictures, their wedding, a family reunion and now... I got to meet the newest member of their family - baby Camille - "Cami" for short! I'm posting a few sneak peeks for them here... Cami made us work for the smiles this morning, but we had fun and at the end she passed out - it's hard work being such a cute model, huh?? Enjoy!!

Happy Birthday Carlene...

2008-06-11T16:23:00.003-05:00

The Birthday Girl
Hmm... wonder what they're up to
The Delicious Desserts - yummy!!

Monday was my sweet friend, Carlene's, birthday - we celebrated in relaxed fashion at Cyndi's - the kids swam and the mamas visited - it was such fun and a great way to start off the week! In fact, what was supposed to be only lunch and a swim turned into lunch, swimming, more swimming, and dinner:)! Cyndi is definitely the hostess with the mostest - when she needed fresh mint for part of our lunch - she just went to the backyard and cut some out of her herb garden - I think she is the "Martha Stewart" of Katy! Anyway, Carlene is definitely worth celebrating - she is one of my precious friends in Katy - so it was only fitting that we celebrated all day long!!! Happy Birthday, sweet friend!!

Almost Four Years...

2008-06-08T23:04:00.008-05:00

My heart is heavy tonight. While my heart is often heavy when I think about Kyle, it is particularly heavy as the anniversary of his death draws nigh. In 18 days it will be four years. Four years since he was still here. Four years and one week since I've heard his voice, looked in his eyes, wrapped my arms around him - not knowing that the was the last time I would ever hug him. Four years and one week since he saw our kids, played with them, laughed with them, told me funny stories about Wyatt's visit to west Texas, since he called Megan his sweetheart. And yet, I can still hear his voice echoing in the recesses of my memory. I have struggled from June 26, 2007 to now in ways that I hadn't struggled with his death previously. My brain says, "Hodges, it has been four years. Come on!" My heart says something completely differently. I am forever changed. We (his family and friends) all are. My heart says that we didn't do enough at his funeral and in the days after to celebrate his life, we didn't do enough to tell the funny stories, the happy stories, the stories that bring tears of joy not sorrow. Perhaps the shock was so great, the pain so new and so raw that we weren't able to. Perhaps the disbelief that he was truly gone was too overwhelming. Wasn't it just yesterday that we celebrated Megan's 13th birthday and he took the kids, along with his dad and some other family members to Kemah? Wasn't it just yesterday he was still alive? They ate at Landry's, if I remember correctly and they walked down the boardwalk. I still have the digital camera that he used that day and the pictures are still on it. The last pictures that Megan and Wyatt would have with their daddy. Again, I struggle. I put one foot in front of the other. I smile and I say I'm fine, but I'm not. I work, I play with Megan and Wyatt, I laugh, I dream, I do all the things that everyone else does, there's just a gaping hole in the center of my heart and while most days the pain is not the sharp pain that it once was, it is still there. I wonder if it will always be there. So, I'm not fine - I miss him. Again, I worry that we didn't do enough to celebrate his life - to help Megan and Wyatt remember all of the happy times, the funny times, the great things about him. The night after his intervention were some of the most tender moments of our marriage. He'd agreed to go rehab in the morning and his bag was finally packed. The house was quiet - both kids were asleep and we were laying side by side, curled up in bed, talking in hushed voices. It was tender because Kyle wasn't one for cuddling, for curling up side by side, but that night he did. And he said to me, "I want my story to make a difference. I want someone to avoid the path that I'm on because they see what I've gone through." While he was in rehab he joked that we should write a book - quite an odd suggestion coming from someone who didn't even like to read all that much. But he knew how verbose his wife was and so he said - "We should write a book. Again, I want my story to make a difference for someone else." It is in this spirit, with this thought in mind that I need to do something to first, celebrate his life - to revel in the good times that we had and that he had with the rest of his family and friends. There were many. Secondly, to share his story in a way that honors him and tells his story so that, as he put it, someone else will avoid the path that he took.

Just a little over three years ago his brother, Casey, and I took a sixteen hour road trip to Hamlin and back for the funeral of a dear friend of the Hodges' family. Casey and I had many opportunities to talk that day. When he and I talked a little about what Kyle said the night before he went to rehab, Casey asked me what I was doing about it. At the time, nothing. For three years now, the desire to do something about what Kyle wanted has grown. So, on June 26th, the four year anniversary, I will open a blog in his memory. It is titled He's Gone Home. I am gathering pictures and have been working on the blog for a couple of weeks now. If you knew Kyle and you have a story that would celebrate his life, please email me - professorhodges@hotmail.com. I would love to post it so that the rest of us who loved him can share in that memory. My goal is that the blog celebrate his life and I invite you to join with me in that venture.

Prepare to Be Blown Away

2008-06-08T22:35:00.002-05:00

I've followed Nate, Tricia and Gwyneth's story for months now. I hope that you are blessed and encouraged the way that I have been. If you take the time to watch the video, have tissues handy - you will need them. You can also scoot the little timer thing forward to about 30-32 minutes - that is when Nate begins sharing about their story. For more info on the Lawrenson family, please visit their blog: www.cfhusband.blogspot.com. Again, prepare to be blown away! God is more than good!!

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In the middle of the bed...

2008-06-04T16:42:00.003-05:00

Sunday night the weirdest thing happened... I was getting into bed and normally I stay on "my" side of the bed, but that night, for some reason I rolled to the middle of the bed. Now, to most people that may not seem like a big thing, so let me back up and show you what it means for me...

When I was married we had clear lines about which side of the bed "belonged" to whom. Kyle's was always the side closest to the bedroom door. I was always away from the bedroom door. He was the first "line of defense", if you will, in case someone broke into our home. He wanted to be closest to the door of the bedroom and therefore, closest to the rest of the house and our kids.

Since the time of our separation I have had to learn how to sleep on a different side of the bed. As a mom at home alone with her kids, I'm now the first "line of defense" - I'm the one who has to protect our kids and take care of all of that kind of stuff. Not a role I enjoy or relish at all!! If you were to crawl into my bed (it used to be our bed) there is a definite spot where I sleep -I bought new mattresses, faithfully flip and turn them and still, there's an indent in the mattress where I sleep. In fact, these days it is so pronounced that if you were to roll from my spot in the bed to the other side, there is almost a ridge that you would have to roll up and over in order to get to the other side. Crazy I know, but hey, oh well!! So - you get the picture - I now sleep closest to the door with my face towards the door. It is now my spot and I'm literally stuck in a "rut", well, a "rut" in my mattress, but a "rut" nonetheless. SOOO... on Sunday night I crawled into bed and couldn't quite get comfortable in my little "rut", so I tossed and turned and tossed and turned and turned and tossed. You get the idea. I got up and got a drink of apple juice, then crawled back into bed. I was tired and I just wanted to close my eyes and drift off to sleep, but no, I couldn't get comfortable. Again, the whole tossing and turning, moving the pillows, all the while clinging to my edge of the bed. Finally in desperation I moved to the middle of the bed with my back to the door even (I never sleep like that!!) and almost instantaneously a calm and peace came over me- I stretched out and fell asleep. Ya'll - my back was to the door - that is symbolic of me not being on the ready or watching out for my family - I was sleeping with my back to the door in the middle of the bed in complete oblivion to the rest of the house.

My point is this - how much of our lives do we live on the "edge of the bed" - face to the door, on the defensive, not resting, not trusting?? If you're at all like me, you live a lot of your life that way. That mentality bleeds over into every part of my life - just waiting for something to happen, for the bottom to fall out, or for someone to intrude into my space or my family's space. As I was drifting off to dreamland (well, I don't really dream all that often, so as I was drifting off to sleep), I heard the still small voice of my Saviour, "Come unto me all ye that labor..."

This "on the edge of the bed" mentality has even penetrated my relationship with Christ - instead of crawling into the middle of it and laying down and resting in Him, trusting Him, growing in Him, I've stayed right there on the edge, ready to bolt at the first sign of disaster. Now I know that the disasters come from me - He is perfect and sovereign and everything that I am not, but I'm ready to bolt regardless. That is not what He asks of me, that is not how I can have a true, intimate relationship with him - I cannot cling to the edge, with my face to the door, planning my exit. In order to find the peace that passes all understanding, in order to find the joy He promises, in order to find REST - I must crawl into the middle of my relationship with Him, stretch out and turn my back to the exit. I must commit to being there in that place with Him. I must be willing to lay myself down. No small thing. No easy thing. I cannot be who He designed me to be for His glory and His purpose from the edge. I have to be in the middle. The same is true for each of us. I'll be praying for you if you pray for me as we all crawl to the middle:)!

WE HAVE A CHAMPION!!!

2008-06-01T22:32:00.004-05:00

Yes, you read that right - WE HAVE A CHAMPION!!! I am overwhelmed with pride, with joy and with gratitude!!! As I walked away from the arena where Megan was riding today, I uttered a short simple prayer that God would grant her some measure of success - she worked so hard, refused to give up and kept moving forward - if she could've slept in Jake's stall this weekend she would have!! Her determination is truly inspirational to me - let me just explain...

She showed in her second horse show ever this weekend - again, against girls and women who have been doing this for a long time and have their own horses. Megan has been riding since she was little, but her formal training has been sporadic until about a year and a half ago. Even then she had an excellent trainer, but we switched trainers about six months ago and her new trainer, Brent, has really taken it up a notch or two or two hundred:)! (Her old trainer, Candace, is in Pennsylvania training for very high level competitions and we decided the commute to the Penn state each week was a little cost prohibitive - just kidding - we didn't really consider it!!) Brent demands a lot out of her and she goes for it - today she really went for it. She has come a long way in a short amount of time. Today her goal was to remember all her courses (the competitors ride four -five times each day and do a different course each time - the placement of the jumps doesn't change - just the order in which they are to be jumped) and to improve some little things - toes in, shoulders back, pacing, etc... We weren't asking for much - just improvement and... as her mom... I just wanted her to be able to feel proud of her efforts!

So... here's the part about her winning... There are numerous levels in competition and Meg is in the Novice Hunter-Jumper division. Each division has several "classes" meaning that the competitors ride numerous times. There are winners for each class and then one Reserve Grand Champion for the division - today Megan was the Reserve Grand Champion!!! We were just hoping that she would have five clean rides (she competed in five classes) - we were just hoping that she would remember each of the courses, go over the right jumps in the right order, have good posture and keep her toes in. Well, she did all of those things and then some - she got Reserve Grand Champion - that doesn't mean that she got all first in each of the five classes, it just means that when all was said and done, she had the highest total points. WOW!!! Let me say it again - WOW!! God completely, thoroughly and totally went above and beyond what we asked of Him - Megan was an amazing rider today and we can attribute that to her hard work definitely, but also to her Creator who filled her with peace, calmness, focus and a drive to keep going like you wouldn't believe!!

If you want to send her a note of congratulations or encouragement, feel free to either post a comment here or send her an email - meganhodges@live.com. (She would love to hear from you- she loves to get email!!)

Enjoy the pictures and the new slide show!!

Changing Brakes...

2008-05-25T08:58:00.004-05:00

Well... I think I surprised a few people:)! Let me back up a little bit... When I was married, Kyle's philosophy was that if he helped in the house, I should help with the cars. (Originally it was the yard and the cars but one day I butchered a section of our yard with the weedeater and I was forever banned from yardwork - oh darn!) So, anyway as I was saying, I've done some work on cars - specifically I have helped change a serpentine belt, brakes, oil, and spark plugs. Well, last week at dinner with my Bible study class, a challenge sort-of kind-of got thrown down and you know me - I'm rarely one to back away from a challenge:)! So on Friday this week I showed up to help a friend from my Bible study class change the brakes on his truck. Truly I think he was shocked, but there I was, straight from work with a window of time to help and help I did:)! No, seriously, I really did help! I figured out how to get a bolt loose that we were struggling with! I got my hands dirty, or should I say greasy, and everything!! The best part is that I didn't get my nice white shirt dirty - nice planning on my part to wear a white

shirt to change brakes:)! Anyway - here are a couple of pics from helping Robert change his brakes - thanks Robert - it was fun!!
And... I won the challenge so now Robert has to give up a few moments of the Indy 500 to come to our class social today at the mall:)!!

Horsin' Around

2008-05-13T18:13:00.003-05:00

Well... we spent Mother's Day weekend horsin' around - literally!! Megan rode in her first "real" show:)!! It was such an amazing weekend for her - she was gone from sun-up to sun-down Friday through Sunday, but she was surrounded by horses and others who love horses as much as she does so she had no complaints! By Sunday afternoon Wyatt had a different opinion - we weren't there as much as she was, but he was exhausted and told me all about it!
He threw himself down in the dirt and sawdust, narrowly missing a pile of horse poo and proceeded to shout, "But this whole day has been all about sister and I'm tired of it always being all about sister. When is it ever going to be about me?" Biting back a grin and listening to the quiet chuckles around me, I walked slowly over to where he was and gave him a big hug. Which didn't help anything at all because I wasn't taking him home just yet:)!

As far as the horse show, it was definitely baptism by fire! I knew nothing about horse shows and Megan knew only a little bit more. In spite of her inexperience competing, she managed to get several ribbons (a couple of 4ths, a couple of 5ths and a 6th). There were thirteen girls in her group - all of whom have been competing for years so Megan was proud of herself for hanging in there and for doing as well as she did. We learned that the "showing season" runs from May through early November and Megan decided she wants to go for a season of showing so we're going to go for it! You'll be hearing lots more about horse shows as there are eight that she will for sure compete in from the first weekend in June to the first weekend in November. She has upped the number of times that she'll be riding each week - she'll have two formal lessons with her coach and she'll work out with Jake (that's the horse she'll be riding at least for the first part of the season) three to four times a week in addition to her lessons.

Right now she's competing as a "Novice Hunter-Jumper". As I understand it, this is the 4th level up - the jumps range from eighteen inches to three feet. "Novice Hunter-Jumper" is the last level before the jumps get higher - from three to four feet. Depending on how the first part of the season goes, she may move up to "Jumpers" midseason. The move to the next level is huge and carries a lot more risk- the horses go much faster and much higher. This scares me to death, but what are you going to do when your baby girl has loved horses since she was literally a baby???

I'm attaching a few pictures for the moment and am working on a slide show. If I can say so myself, I'm pretty impressed with some of the pictures I got:)! Enjoy!!

Little Lizzie

2008-04-13T22:54:00.003-05:00

Well, it is Sunday night and I really should be getting in bed, but I've been uploading all of the pictures I took at Lizzie's wedding and now I'm wired! So... I figured it would be a good time to blog... Little Lizzie got married this weekend - she was breathtaking and even though she isn't my little girl, I watched her grow up, was her nanny for many years and feel as though a little bit of her is mine, if that makes any sense. As she walked down the aisle my mind rambled through the years of scraped knees, days when a kiss and a bandaid cured every ill to days of teenage drama and college adventures, to who she is now - an extraordinary young adult! Yes, I cried. Her other two nannies, dear friends of mine - Judi and Tammie - cried too! I was reminded how blessed I am to be a part of her life and what a joy it has been to watch her grow up - I uploaded a few pictures so you can share in this - special thanks to Lizzie's mom and dad - Jo and Dwight - for sharing her:)! (Yes, I have many run-on sentences in this blog entry - it's late - give me a little break!) Enjoy the pictures!

TAG - I'm it!

2008-04-12T10:04:00.003-05:00

Well, my friend Amy, tagged me to do "100 Things About Me" - so here goes...

1. I was born in Houston, TX.
2. I have lived in ten states: Texas, Illinois, Virginia, N. Carolina, Washington, Maine, Alabama, Oklahoma, Ohio, Kentucky and now I have been back in Texas for 19 years.
3. I have one brother, Sam.
4. He is married to Dianna.
5. They have two boys.
6. Brendan just turned seven and is in the first grade.
7. Connor will be five this summer and will go to Kindergarten this fall.
8. Sam says Connor is his "payback child".
9. That is very good because Sam deserves a payback child:)
10. My parents, Burt and Gale, live about three hours west of us.
11. They live in Boerne, TX, which is northwest of San Antonio.
12. They usually visit us here at my house because I have two dogs and they don't like my dogs to come visit them.
13. My dogs are Molly, a nine and half year old yellow Lab and Lillie, a three year old chocolate Lab.
14. I have two children.
15. My daughter, Megan, is almost 17. (Where does the time go??)
16. She drives a grey Mustang.
17. When she pulls out of the driveway, my heart goes with her.
18. She is a junior in high school.
19. This is our second year of homeschooling.
20. We enjoy it for the most part - there are some great benefits.
21. She is taking classes at HCC (Houston Community College) under the dual credit program - the classes count for high school and college.
22. She doesn't know where she wants to go to college.
23. I think she should take a gap year where she lives at home and waits a year to go to college.
24. Gap year is a European idea and phenomenon. I really like the idea!
25. My son, Wyatt, is six and a half.
26. He is in Kindergarten at Crosspoint Christian School.
27. I have no idea where he will go to school next year.
28. He makes me laugh so hard and so often!!
29. He has his daddy's sense of humor for sure.
30. My husband's name was Kyle.
31. He died three years and nine and a half months ago.
32. I still miss him.
33. I like it when I dream about him.
34. It makes me sad that I won't get to grow old with him.
35. His kids miss him too.
36. He was a very smart man.
37. He always said that he had the street smarts out of the two of us and that I had the book smarts.
38. From time to time he would have me read his gas reports and tell him what they were about - he really didn't like to read all that much.
39. We wanted to retire and grow old in west Texas.
40. He loved being outdoors.
41. He was so excited when we found out Wyatt was going to be a boy.
42. We went that day and bought a football, a pair of blue jeans and a ball cap for our baby boy.
43. I think he was more nervous when I was when I was in labor with Wyatt.
44. I'll never forget the look on his face when he held Wyatt for the first time.
45. He followed the nurses who were holding Wyatt right after he was born - he wouldn't let that baby out of his sight.
46. He called Megan his sweetheart.
47. He wasn't her biological father, but he was her daddy in every way that counts.
48. They used to sit in his leather chair and cuddle and talk and watch football.
49. Megan misses him a lot too.
50. He was her softball coach one year. She loved it!
51. We have great comfort knowing that we will see him again in Heaven.
52. Heaven doesn't seem so scary or far away anymore.
53. We're (Megan and me) going to a wedding this weekend.
54. My little Lizzie is getting married.
55. I was one of Lizzie's nannies when I was in college.
56. She and her parents are now dear friends of ours.
57. I can't believe Lizzie is old enough to get married.
58. I got very teary-eyed at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner last night.
59. She is going to be a very beautiful bride:)!
60. I love photography - I have a Canon 5D with two of the IS lenses.
61. My photography website is in the process of being built.
62. Two of my dearest friends, Amy and Amber, let me practice on their kids a lot! (Thanks guys!)
63. I think "Cheese" was one of Wyatt's first words.
64. Denis Reggie is my photography hero. (http://www.denisreggie.com/)
65. I love all kinds of music - I don't know who my musical hero is though - it's different everyday!
66. I am blessed with wonderful friends - I have three friends from high school that are very dear and we stay in close contact - Amy, Amber and Sheila.
67. Amy has three kids - Grant, Grayson and Greta
68. Amber also has three kids - Hannah, Emma and Joshua.
69. Sheila has two children - Noah and baby #2 is due the first week of May.
70. Sheila and her husband, Ryan, choose not to find out what the sex of the baby is before the baby is born.
71. This may be fun for them, but it is not for me:(!
72. I offered to send a self-addressed stamped envelope to the dr so he could just mail me a little note and let me know, but Sheila vetoed the idea - thanks Sheila! (Just kidding!)
73. These three friends live far away - thank goodness for cheap cellphones, free email and blogs:)!
74. I have many wonderful friends in Houston - my college friends are Judi, Lara, Kristen, Candace, Suzanne, Tammie, Vivian and more. These girls are great - we get together from time to time and have such fun - we all went to Houston Baptist University (http://www.hbu.edu/) together - go Huskies!
75. I am also blessed to have many friends in Katy (where we now live) - Carlene, Andrea, Cyndi Megan D, and more - we have a Thursday morning group each week. I try not to miss it!
76. I also have some fabulous friends that are fellow single parents - we are such a wonderful support for each other - Gwen, Rob, Mali, Robert (Robert is riding in the MS150 today - go Robert!!), Rainy, Dan, Joel, Amanda, Tom, Brett and more - we love to get together and play Catch Phrase - the girls always win!! Really, boys - you must come to grips with the fact that you can't beat the girls:).
77. I had twenty of my single parent friends over Easter Sunday - we had such fun - we ate and ate and played Catch Phrase - I took pictures - I should post them here:)!
78. Katy has a dessert boutique called "Ooh La La" - it is totally fab - their cupcakes rock - if you ever come visit me, I will insist that we go there at least once! You will be glad we did!
79. I had to take a break from completing this post. While I did, Lizzie got married.
80. She was an incredibly beautiful bride.
81. Yes, I cried.
82. Several times actually.
83. Megan went to the wedding - she looked so very grown up.
84. Before I know it, we'll be planning her wedding - on second thought - she better wait at least 8-10 years.
85. I think I was emotional because even though a lot of kids have passed through my life, Lizzie is one who has been a part of it for almost twenty years now. I have literally watched her grow up - I remember putting bandaids and kisses on scraped knees, playing with make-up as she was learning how to use it, and watching her go from little girl, to young lady, to teenager, to young adult, to a beautiful and incredible adult. What an amazing process.
86. Only a few more things about me to go... Wyatt didn't go to the wedding - weddings aren't really his thing!
87. Lizzie and Marc left in a Rolls Royce - Megan just had to have her picture taken while leaning against the Rolls Royce - enjoy, sweetheart, that's probably the closest you'll ever get:)
88. If I could buy any car I wanted to right now it would be an LR3 - don't ask me why - no real reason other than I like them.
89. How's this one - I wish I had a smaller house - it would be so much easier to clean:)!
90. This is the third day that I have worked on this list.
91. I love to read - I literally have more books than pieces of clothing.
92. I don't have only one favorite author - for "non-Christian" reading I love Sophie Kinsella.
93. For Christian fiction I really like Deanne Gist and Cathy Marie Hake. They write in similar styles and their heroines always end up in hysterical messes - reminds me of my own life.
94. I'm teaching this weekend at church - I teach two classes.
95. We'll be studying Joseph, specifically we'll be looking at the time he spent in prison.
96. I titled the lesson "The Chair" and I'll be bringing a big chair from my house as the visual.
97. I can't tell you anymore because then it would give away a big part of my lesson!
98. I talked to my friend Sheila today - she still doesn't know if she is having a boy or a girl.
99. I'm hoping it is a girl - I think every family should have at least one girl!
100. Yeah - I'm finished - I love the feeling of a completed project!!

on a happier note...

2008-04-08T22:32:00.005-05:00

I really became intrigued with blogging this winter when a blog was forwarded to me. It is the blog of a family that we go to church with - the mom, Kenzie, was Megan's beach retreat counselor last summer. She is a precious lady and Megan thinks the world of her. Her blog has links to other blogs and one in particular has really touched my heart - "Confessions of a CF Husband" - Nate is the author of this blog- he is in his early 20's and his wife has cystic fibrosis. In January they had their first child - Gwyneth - she was born more than fifteen weeks early. (Those of you who know us well know that almost seventeen years ago, Megan was a 12week early baby - so preemies have a special place in my heart!) As soon as Tricia (Nate's wife) recovered from having Gwyneth she was placed on a lung transplant list - last week she got a new set of lungs - not just one lung but two!!! Their blog is to raise awareness of God's goodness, His provision as well as the need for organ donation and research for Cystic Fibrosis. If you need something to make you smile this morning, I promise "Confessions of a CF Husband" will do it for you!! Check out his blog - http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/ - you'll be glad you did!!

on my soap box;)

2008-04-08T21:57:00.005-05:00

DISCLAIMER: Yes, I work for a public school district, but the views purported below are my own and not reflective of the district that I work for:)!

A battle has been brewing at the State Board of Education for years - the media calls it "Liberal" vs "Conservative", but I call it something totally different - it is a powerstruggle and unfortunately the real losers are your children and mine! Let me back up for those of you who aren't in the loop on this one...

Every so often the documents that tell teachers what objectives to teach must be examined - Are they reflective of current best practices? Do they provide rigor and challenge? Do they push our students to be the best thinkers and learners possible? Do they adequately prepare children for a post-education future? Refinement is a necessary process. Scrapping the whole thing and starting over under the table is not. (This is what has happened to the Language Arts objectives in the state of Texas.) Enter E.D. Hirsch - you should be leery of this man - in print he advocates a "one size fits all" curriculum - according to him, there is a body of core knowledge that is essential for all children - doesn't sound bad, does it? Hold on... Joining E.D. Hirsch on the stage is Chairman of the Board Don McLeroy - not an educator but because he went through school and college and knows teachers, he feels particularly qualified to say what should and should not be taught and to unequivocally state that Texas teachers are not currently getting the job done well enough. McLeroy is a huge fan of Hirsch. He thinks we should all be huge fans of Hirsch. He thinks the Language Arts objectives need a complete overhaul due to their repetitive nature and a couple of other unsubstantiated reasons. Hmm... repetitive... according to McLeroy, teachers should teach complex processes such as inferring, one time in one grade level and move on. No room for continuing to teach complex thinking processes - you either get it or you don't. Too bad, so sad. So, let's think - I went to the dentist as a child and because I had my teeth cleaned back then, I don't need to have them cleaned anymore - right? Wrong! Or, better yet - I ate dinner yesterday, so I don't need to eat dinner ever again - right? Wrong! (Yes, you do hear a touch of sarcasm, but just a touch because we all know I would never seriously consider giving up food!)

You should also be leery of a woman lurking behind the scenes - Donna Garner. I can tell you that I have read emails written by her and she attempts to discredit Texas educators and basically anyone who doesn't agree with her alternative document that McLeroy thinks is so fabulous. Here's a thought - Chairman McLeroy - Donna was pushed off stage more than a decade ago, her document was buried and seen as developmentally inappropriate and not reflective of anything even close to best practices for students then- why in the world would you invite her to the stage now?

So... you say, "Monica, why in the world should I care about this drama? It doesn't effect me." Here's why - you live in this state and you work in this state. You have children that will go to school in this state. If McLeroy and his conservative cronies win this battle, your children and mine lose. It is that simple. As an employer you want to be able to hire workers who can think, reason, problem solve and create. Under the document that McLeroy is pushing your students will become robots who are required to read and write simply through rote processes. Thinking not required. Problem-solving not necessary. I've always wanted my children to be robots! Yikes - I hate it when sarcasm comes sneaking through!

Let me say for the record, I've lumped the conservatives together in this particular instance and I've made it clear that I don't agree with them, which probably surprises most of you. Well, I haven't switched to the other side - the field of education should be neither Republican nor Democrat, Conservative nor Liberal. It should be about doing what is best for kids - anything else is cutting our noses off to spite our faces. Let's face it, today's students will be paying our Social Security in years to come. BUT, aside from that - education is about kids, to make it about power and money is ethically and morally reprehensible.

Let's keep moving... As parents you and I want the best possible education for our children - we want them to go farther and learn more than we have - the world is constantly changing and they need to be able to change with it. McLeroy doesn't think so. He thinks one size fits all. Tell me, where in the world does one size fit all?? At the doctor's office - if you have cancer, I don't think so! In the courtroom - if you're on trial, I don't think so! Truly, there is no place in this world, except maybe church - and that's a whole other discussion - where one size fits all.

So... I've "soap-boxed" enough - yes, I can tell you're glad, but you need to know that being silent and uninformed is not a choice if you want your children to thrive in public school. Check the Chronicle, check TEA's website - http://www.tea.state.tx.us/, check out what national organizations have had to say about this debacle - http://www.internationalreadingassociation.org/ and http://www.ncte.org/. It is a scary time for Language Arts educators as well as for all students and their parents who expect the best. Trust me on this one, the State Board of Education - the very people that we elected, do not want the best - they want the publishing perks and bonuses. Your children and mine simply don't matter! Their pride and pocketbooks are their priorities.

Megan here again...

2008-03-28T12:56:00.003-05:00

So easter vacation rocked....i loved it. i worked while i was there but work didnt even feel like work. i got the privilege of waking up at dawn, feeding the horses and watching the sunrise. it was awesome!! to some it may seem nuts or crazy but i loved it. it was always really cold in the morning and the dew was still on the ground. it was like watching the earth wake up. the horses would always be extremely happy to see me and that made it worth getting up. by the time it was time to go to breakfst i had already started on my work and the day was in progress. it was an amazing way to start my days off right. the time spent with my family was great too. Wyatt was so excited to ride a horse - he wasnt old enough to ride by himself but by the smile on his face he was the champion of it all. i must give props to my mom - she went on a trail ride with me and i really appreciated that. i know that horses aren't really her thing and the fact that she went on a trial ride anyways shows me that with family sometimes you go out of your comfort zone for those you love. she has no idea how happy it made me that she was involved with the horses and me. i find great joy in sharing my interest and knowledge of horses with others and to get the chance to share it with the person that i love and admire beyond measure was like sharing it with a famous rock star or something. mom, i know you're reading this and i want you to know that you rock for riding a horse on easter vacation. :) well i guess thats all i have to say right now...........thanks for reading!
-megan- :)

Happy Easter...

2008-03-22T22:59:00.002-05:00

We returned from Crier Creek Easter Family Camp this afternoon ready for Easter - the weekend was full of laughter, relaxation, LOTS of good food and great memories! Wyatt caught a fish and had a bike wreck that landed him submerged in a lake - Megan got to lead me through a trail ride and I did the zipline. I took somewhere around 300 pictures so I have lots to choose from for posting on here:)! However, that will have to wait for another day!! We just wanted to say HAPPY EASTER to all of our family and friends!

Megan here...:-)

2008-03-20T10:21:00.002-05:00

hey everyone - this is megan speaking. i like the idea of our family having a blog. i honestly had no idea my mom was so up-to-date on this stuff. jk...mom i know you're reading this. well i am extremely excited to go to crier creek this weekend as a guest. i will be working while i am there but i also get to stay on-sight which is cool. i love being out in the country where i have space to breath. well nothing is really new with me, and i haven't had any cool encounters with the big man upstairs......but life is good. i am continuously raising my hieght of jumps in my horseback lessons. i am up to 3'8". it's so exciting. i am going to be showing this spring and summer. i will post the dates and locations of the shows so you all who are reading this can come watch me. :-) i need to go though considering i havent started packing for the weekend and we are leaving at four. i will hopefully post a new entry filled with details from this weekend. thanks for reading....and i am fully aware that i have not followed any grammar rules while typing this entry and i plan to keep all of my entries this way. i think that when im writing in a blog it should reflect my character and i shouldn't have to worry about grammar. so enjoy reading my thoughts, errors, and grammatical mistakes. :-)
-megan-

He showed up!!!

2008-03-20T09:06:00.002-05:00

Just a heads up - this post is a little deep, but that's where my thoughts are right now, so bear with me...

This winter has been the hardest one yet since Kyle's death - I have just struggled with everything so much! Thank goodness for fabulous counselors like Betty - I have had her as
my counselor since November of 2001. She is truly an amazing woman. Her perspective is
that I've spent the majority of the last almost four years now making sure my kids were ok
and keeping everything moving forward, so much so that I've essentially stuffed or buried what was going with my own grief. She assures that this is completely normal - the first year was just shock and survival, the second year was a dawning realization that Kyle is
truly gone and not coming back and the third year the grief hit a different level - our kids are hanging in there and even seeming to thrive so my concern for them in this area relaxed a little bit, thus allowing more room for my feelings to surface. And surface they did - trust me when I say it has been tough.

So... throughout all of this I've continued to ask God to show up - to show me that He sees me, not just my kids, but me. I've literally felt as though I was pleading with Him to make Himself audible or visible or something - I've needed a glimpse, a tiny picture - even if just a hint of a ray of sunshine - just something!!! And all winter, it seems as though He's been silent.

Well, yesterday, I had an incident that was quite a blow - in the grand scheme of things a small incident, but at that moment, in my hurt, it was huge. This morning I laid in bed and just prayed for God to again, show up - just show me that He is present in my life. I reached for a Women's Devotional Bible that I have and I want to share with you the devotion that I happened to open it to...

"Remember" by Judith Couchman - A warm letter from a friend. A compliment from my boss. An unexpected refund. A comforting scripture. These arrive as God's good gifts to me. But they usually get overlooked while I'm focusing on what feels like - at least to me - insurmountable trouble. Always, it's trouble that God hasn't solved yet. Often, I complain about His delayed response. Bet really, my myopic vision isn't fair to Him. If I lift my eyes off the problem, I can spot God's gifts all around me. They may not be the answer I'm searching for at the moment, but they're good and continuous gifts that say, "I still love you, my child." They remind me that God doesn't stop caring for me, even though I live with unfulfilled expectations. Now during the hard times, I remind myself to hunt for God's small surprises while I'm waiting for His big solution. It takes my mind off the problem. It helps me to trust Him... It encourages me to know that God still cares." I Peter 5: 6-7 tells us, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's might hand, that He may life you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety (and cares) on Him because He cares for you."

WOW - if that wasn't God showing up at the perfect time, I don't know what would have been! So... this morning, if you are like me, waking up with hurt feelings and some sadness, know that God sees you - He cares for you! He is not silent or distant! Isn't that an amazing thing that we have a personal God who loves us and... SHOWS UP when we need Him most!!!

Have a blessed day - our next post will be in a few days as we're headed off to family camp! Wyatt and Megan are both so excited - we're going to a place called Crier Creek (www.pinecove.com) - Megan works there as a "Horse Wrangler" on the weekends and she's so excited that I get to go on a trail ride with her and Wyatt is excited because he gets to spend a couple of nights where his sister works. I, however; am feeling a bit trepidatious - I'll be hanging out with all married people - those who know me well know how much I just love that (not!), but seriously - I'm going with a bunch of friends who are a blast and God showed me this morning that He sees me and He cares for me so I know it'll be a blast - I promise to post pictures~

Have a blessed Easter weekend ~He is risen~ He is risen indeed!

the beginning of blogging

2008-03-17T23:54:00.003-05:00

Wecome to the Hodges' Home blog - I'm so excited about trying this out!!!! So here goes... I don't remember when I first heard of blogging, but over the past couple of years it has certainly become more popular and this winter I had several friends start a blog of their own - it is soo much fun to read and keep up with everyone that I just had to do one of my own:)

The night is quiet around here - both kids are asleep and hopefully will stay asleep until tomorrow morning - I don't have to worry about Megan - Wyatt is my early riser, but since we stayed up late tonight, maybe, just maybe he'll sleep late in the morning! It is during these quiet moments that I'm able to gather my thoughts and refuel - it seems like these days need more
refueling than in years past - I think that means I'm getting older!

On a different note -This week is Spring Break and after a super quick trip to Louisville, KY, this weekend (and it was very quick - I only got to stay for about twelve hours due to flight delays getting out of Houston) for a high school reunion, I found all of my ambitious thoughts for the week fading away - at 3:30pm today I was still in my pajamas! Again, I think this means I am getting old - I no longer recover from craziness and hectic weekends like I used to!! However... I did have such fun seeing so many old friends - as soon as I figure out how to post pics to my little blog, I'll put some up here! It was worth the fourteen hours waiting in the airport - yes, you read that right - fourteen long, miserable hours with other unhappy travelers who were also bumped from their original flights! Seriously though, it wasn't that bad - I had some "down time" and spent a lot of the day on the phone catching up with friends that I don't always get a lot of time to talk to. All in all - no complaints!!!

Well, again, welcome to our blog - I'll probably be the one doing most of the posting, but I plan on having Megan and Wyatt add their perspectives from time to time. We'll do our best to keep this updated -that way my family can't say we're not keeping them posted:) So... welcome and enjoy!